Communicating with parents can get tricky. You will have some parents who are determined that there is certain information they did not know. That was never told to them. Etc.
Just like every child you teach are different, no parent is exactly the same either. But some parents can show similar patterns. I like to think that when you have conferences with parents and you bring up things their child needs to work on, or what they are struggling with, there are times when the parent/guardian feels overwhelmed. Making it harder for them to fully digest what you’re saying. There are also times, I think, when I give the parents too much information or resources and they mentally shut down. When this happens they often come back and say, “You never told me this.” Or, “We didn’t know our child was struggling in this way.” Or, “We didn’t know these resources were available for our child.”
Now, you know this is not your truth. You, as a teacher, did everything you could to meet with the parents, and give them information/resources, asked for their opinion, etc. But, it very well could be their truth. Everything went in one ear, and out the other.
My principal gave me this idea last year when dealing with parents who often said I did not communicate certain things to them. Instead of getting defensive, which I have been guilty of, oh so many times, she encouraged me to take notes of every meeting or phone call that I have with parents. Don’t get me wrong, I usually always document my meetings, but she suggested a step I never thought of. After the meeting is over send the highlighted discussion points, or the meeting minutes, to the parents. You can open this email with, “Thank you for your time today. I am glad we were able to meet and talk about ______. Here is a summary of what we discussed and our next steps.” Etc.
You can add “next steps for at home” and “next steps for at school” to keep both yourself and the parents accountable. This information often gets documented by teachers and kept in files… but when you send an email to the parents right away, you can refer back to that email when they come to you saying, “they never knew”.
One way to do this is by forwarding the message you sent earlier. You also want to be gracious and allow the parents to save face. As I mentioned earlier, maybe they really don’t remember you saying something. Maybe they were overwhelmed or tired. By forwarding the email you can remind them what you discussed and apologize if it wasn’t made clear during the meeting, or give them room to say they missed the first email. It happens.
No one ever told me that the hardest part of my job would NOT be teaching the children, but communicating with parents. I hope these past four blog posts have been helpful for those teachers just getting started, or for teachers who like myself, had to learn by doing.
- Part 1: Start Positive
- Part 2: Build a Community
- Part 3: Value Your Parents Expertise
- Part 4: Take Notes!
Enjoy the start of the 2019-2020 School Year! Or for those in the middle of their teaching year, enjoy your final stretch (the end is near!).